Valentine

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” shouted the little boy. Daphne glared at her husband as he stole expectant glances at the door. Neither knew the postman had kept the flowers for himself.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Toothpaste

There’s an orange Durex wrapper, two red ones, and something that claims to be glow in the dark that I think has expired.

“Do we need more condoms?” I call into the bathroom.

“No, those should do us for a while,” she says through a mouthful of toothpaste.

Happy Valentine’s Day!